|Baby, let's start a revolution.
||[17 Sep 2004|12:21am]
Having a house to yourself works wonders for personal happiness. I spent the whole day lounging out without a bra and pajamas and dancing to uncool music and singing Mandy Moore in vocals that could shatter windows two thousand miles away. I think you should all try it, and if you have large families, shoo them out with sweet words and a rifle. [:< &Pray to the devil you have forgiving neighbors.
I've noticed all of us have been down lately, and I've done my share of self-pity and a helping of emo music. It must be shadows in the weather playing tricks on our emotions. So, here I go.
Fuck, let's not partake in activities that encourage suppression, passivity, obsession, self-hatred, and malnutrition. Shall we? Take a break; we have the rest of our lives to slave away to stairmasters, breath in treadmills, get devoured by bad boys that leave us crying lovelorn like a scene from a hackneyed movie. Before we start criticizing our tree trunk thighs, frizzy hair, desert complexion, we have to remember we ladies are fucking powerful. Why? Two words. Boobs and a vagina. And the sooner we realize this, the better. The more we glow, the sexier we are. As girls, as women, as a symbol of intelligence & sexuality.
So, here's some things we should all do. (Remember balance is the key. [:<)
Yes. Improves complexion, boosts endorphins. Added bonus: burns calories. Oh, did I mention it's fun?
2. Buy Something Expensive
Ok, maybe not a $1100 Prada bag. But that cute little jacket you've been eyeing all summer long, go for it. And fucking feel hot in it, too.
3. Girlcott Vogue, Glamour, InStyle, Elle
No girl will ever suffer from not seeing clothes she will probably never be able to afford by models she could only look like it if she earned 10 million a year and a personal trainer and meal plans.
Cookies and Milk. Ice cream. Bagels. Cheese pizza. French fries and a Big Mac. Whatever your thing is. As much as we want this to be true, we won't survive to age twenty five relying on water and celery. Girls who eat are sexier, any dude can tell you this.
Yes, really complain. About your ex, about your sex life, your friends, family, whatever. Raise some fucking hell, make change, stand up. We don't need to swallow frustration only to have it turn into tumors and depression. Give yourself the right to be upset. We are not perpetually happy slaves for anyone.
6. Love Your Body
Our IQ's are higher than 80, we still have our limbs. We are not morbidly obese or an invalid. Our perfectly lean thighs will not be recorded in textbooks. Go charm those boys, (or girls [:<) rawr!!
7. Go On a Trip
Get away, make new drama. Take pictures, write in a journal. Do something exotic and racy your friends (or people you're too drunk to remember) will be trying to live up for the rest of their lives. [:<
8. Break a Pattern
Got a habit of pushing people away? Save a few. Reputation for being attracted to deadbeat assholes? Opt for a quiet boy for a breath of fresh air. Constantly wear black? Try pink. (:
9. Count Our Blessings
Because it all might disappear in a second.
10. Get Comfortable
Wear no make up for a day, stop trying to fit into four inch heels that no sane person could manage to walk in, don't add more "thin" clothes collecting dust in our closets.
11. Feel Desirable
We're cute, we're smart. Of course guys want us.
12. Make the first move
That cutie you've been eying in the library/at soccer practice/the swimming pool?
13. Never, Ever Give Up on Ourselves.
In the same note, I'm going to do away with magical myths of true love, as well. Because I'm lazy and don't feel like another entry in the future I'm bound to forget.
True love is instant.
Quaker oatmeal is instant. Undeniable lust is instant. Real love takes time. I know it's a hard concept for growing up in movies where it's hello and then the bedroom. It's a whole balancing act of trust, compassion, and communication. Indecipherable from a single look or a date. Real love is not when you're fifteen years old and think that the definition of a soulmate is the guy who listens to Glassjaw and loves Fight Club with a carltlidge piercing, smoking pot together while ranting about what a jerk everyone else in your high school is.
1. Boys tease us because they like us.
No. Boys tease us because they're assholes. This is not love, this is not his quirky little way of expressing affection. It is an excercise of power, ego. This may be attractive right now, but we'll overgrow them like a bad fashion trend. Stop the masochism. We will never be able to change men to beautiful Prince Charmings through our patience and devotion. We are not a convenience store, always ready to help, with no needs of our own.
2. If we don't have a date to the prom, we have no value.
Common sense: High school is not real life.
(Same goes for Valentines Day, If You're Single then You're a Loser Day, Couples Mooch-athon Moment)
3. Bisexuals are luckier.
Twice the possibilities. But no one will trust you, either.
4. Love is pure bliss.
Love is a huge game. It instigates vulnerability, doubt, stupidity, complete emotional anarchy. It takes work. Your hearse will not be picking you up with wedding bells singing without a massive amount of energy and fights. Arguments and frustration. Relationships are not happy pills.
5. Go slow
Make it last, ♥ Don't be in such a hurry to give away our bodies. Boys' lust can wait. And if he's worthwhile, he'll stick around for your sexy ass. (: